Sunday, 19 February 2012

Q1 Are you male or female?

Late last night I decided I needed to know some crucial facts about how we live and how we behave. I'm sure like me you will find the answers to the survey I conducted very interesting.

I would like to thank everyone who took the time to answer these questions. A total of 148 people that was, which means if the average time spent on the survey was 5 minutes per person, then I wasted over 12 hours of other peoples time. Soz about that.

Click for bigger, enjoy.

Unsurprisingly most participants were male, due to the fact I posted the survey on B3ta

Q2 Where are you right now?

Five people are currently chained to the floor in subterranean dungeons, I assume not the same dungeon, that would look more like the internet cafs on Tooting Highstreet than the implied sex dungeon I was thinking about.

I should have given the option to state whether this was consensual or not.

Other responses:

in my hiding place at the nursery, cock in hand.

at a gay nudist resort in australia..

House is one storey

There is only one floor level in my abode

In bed

on sofa. underpants. flacid.

apartments have no stairs

On the stairs


I only have one floor.

just chillin mate

It's a flat, so upstairs but downstairs at the same time

28 years old

In a flat

02 deck

don't have stairs

In the bedroom


Q3 What would you rather see?

The horse with human hands takes it:


Q4 If you could have more teeth, where would you get them?

I was very surprised only six people would get the teeth in their brain to freak out x-ray doctors (is that a thing, x-ray doctors?), I only put the other answers as a formality.

Some really good (and by good I mean horrifying) answers in 'other': 

Other Responses:


in my arse to stop the rapists..

I'd have an extra tooth to replace the one that is shortly to be removed...

In the places where I'm missing teeth so I don't look so meth mouthy!

on my feet

On my elbows so I could munch up any food I drop on the table.

in place of my eye brows

The insides of my elbows so I could chew food with my arms while impersonating a chicken.


Lady parts

replacements at the back

my anus

On my ringpiece. To munch turds into small pieces and so I could simply brush my teeth rather than wipe my arse. Though I would obviously use a different brush to my mouth teeth. Most of the time.

what are teeth

on a necklace

knees, to aid in CQB (close quarters biting)

On my knuckles, to help with chewing.

Where I'm missing the first lot

in my hands for the purposes of stealthily consuming food

around my head like a coronet

Behind me knees, so I could latch onto the sofa more firmly

Q5 Would being taller be . . .

No big deal huh . . . 

Q6 Even two meters taller?

Would it be sweet? . . . I guess it would have certain advantages. 

Q7 What would be the most suspicious to you?

Das rascist, he could be a legit farmer, you don't know. 

Q8 Would you like to carry on this survey in a 'choose your own adventure' style?

It seems most people liked the idea of continuing, or really didn't have anything better to do. 

Q9 You chose yes . . .

 Brave words

Q10 The end.

Now I'm thinking when they clicked 'A relief' they meant because it was scary not because they were glad the survey was over right, right?